10/12/2009

Right this second I am supposed to be asleep, but my eye is causing pain and it is nearly impossible to rest. I have an eye doctor appointment at 9:15 this morning, and I am worried about what may need done. Don't get me wrong here. The actual problem with my eye worries me not, but potential appointments that need to be made to fix it terrify me! And no, I am not contemplating unforeseen pain. That is no consideration of me, because I have been through so many medical treatments or surgeries already that new treatments do not scare me. However, the timing of my eye mishap is horrible. Wednesday of this week I am supposed to meet with a doctor to figure out when would be a good time to remove my two bad kidneys. That is important, because supposedly the transplant from my cousin will happen exactly three weeks post removal. I am scared that my eye inadequacies will postpone my kidney transplant. I have sort of been able to tolerate this dialysis crap for the last four months, because I was hopeful that it would soon end. Now we are finally nearing the date and I am just worried that this will prevent the process from occurring on time (even though it does not have a specific date yet.) Maybe all my concerns are for nothing, but as said earlier I spend too much time thinking. Hopefully everything will be fixed tomorrow. I hate not having a properly functioning kidney! It is not wise to hate, but I detest my current renal diet!!!